Teen-to-Teen Advice From Erin

After a two-year relationship, my boyfriend and I have broken up. He was my first true love. I am 18 years old and have been with him since I was 16. How do I cope with all this pain? Also, how do I act around other guys?

I am not to supposed be dating and I am head over heels for this one guy, that I was thinking about the summer (meaning going to try to date during summer.) Well, I tried to ask my mom when I could date and I was told 18. My older brother dated at 16. I am 15 now. How can I get my parents to lighten my dating sentence?

I've been seeing this guy for about a month and things have been getting pretty hot and heavy. We haven't gone all the way yet but we both want to. The only thing is that technically we're not going out and I am starting to question whether this would be such a good idea. One the other hand, we both know a lot about one another and he doesn't pressure me to do anything that I don't feel comfortable doing. And furthermore we both plan on using protection.

There's something that has really been bugging me for a while. My ex-girlfriend ended up using me to get to my best friend. But now my best friend has a new girlfriend. Then the other day she calls me up and asks if I want to be friends with her again. She also gave me this long drawn out apology. I used to really like her but then she really hurt me and my ego. So I guess my question is: Should I be friends with her? And I also want to know if this is a subtle hint that she wants to go out with me again.

Does sex hurt you?

There is this boy I've known and loved all my life. He's a friend of the family. I'm pretty sure he has feelings for me too, but every time we see each other nothing really happens and we don't see each other often enough. Because of him I won't go out with anyone else and find it impossible to like anyone else. We have this mutual friend who supposedly likes me and the three of us have been called "the three musketeers." If two of us went out, the other might be uncomfortable. But I love this guy and our parents kid around about us getting married but I'm hopeful. What should I do ?

This guy and I have been friends since the 3rd grade (we're in 8th now) and I asked him out in 7th grade and he said yes but during the summer he dumped me. And then, 1 week later he asked me back out. Then yesterday, he dumped me because he doesn't like me any more and he just wants to be friends like before. I thought I was happy but I guess I'm not and I want him back. So do you think he'll ask me back out like last time??

I've been dating a guy for 6 months but he's 19, he constantly tries pushing me into sex and guilt trips me if I reject him, my parents don't know about him but my feelings about him are mixed. At camp last week I met a real nice guy that's also 14, and we started going out, so now I'm cheating. I want to get rid of guy number 1 but I'm afraid he'll hurt me if I break up with him, what should I do?

Do you have any tips on getting that ONE guy? I have been playing Hard-To-Get, but it doesn't seem to be working. Please help.

Me and my boyfriend had a terrible fight. Recently he said he missed me and was sorry so we've made-up, but he continues to do the things that broke us up in the first place. He's been hitting on my cousin and I know he cares about me but I hate when he does that and then try to cover it up. I want to be with him and I deserve better.

Hi ! I'm 13, and I missed my period by a month and 19 days. Do I have something wrong with me?

Is it ok for a 19-year-old to go out with a 13-year-old?

I want to know whether it is right or wrong to masturbate, and will it influence my body development?

Why do guys have to act so macho around their friends and then they get all lovey when you are alone?

A guy asked me to go with him to a dance. I don't like him, but I said "No, but I'll see you there." So he asked me to dance all the time and he calls me everyday. The problem is that I don't like him. At all. I've tried to like him but it just isn't happening. He is almost obsessed with me and is always there! He is so nice I just don't know how to tell him gently that I don't want to go out with him!

My best friend has a major crush on my boyfriend (she told me before we started going out.) The problem is she comes everywhere with me and him and she's all over him. How do I tell her to back off nicely??

I am 21 years old and a senior in college. I have been with D for two and a half years and we have lived apart for almost a year. My dad has said horrible things behind D's back but acts nice to him to his face. D does not ever want to be around him because he can't pretend that nothing ever happened. My family on that side also makes smart comments about D. My question is - what should I expect from him? Should I get angry when he doesn't want to go to Thanksgiving or just accept it?

My boyfriend and I have been in a horrible position for a year. All of our friends have been talking about sex for the longest time. We were the only two who thought that we should wait, we thought we were doing the right thing. We tried to tell all of our friends to wait too but they didn't listen.

I am a 19-year-old college Freshman at Arizona State University and my girlfriend is a 17-year-old high school senior at a school back in my hometown in NJ....We've recently been talking of marriage and we're kind of really wary of it, even though we both know we want it. I'd just like to hear your opinions on this matter and maybe you can help us out on this one.

I really want to ask this girl I've known for a long time to Homecoming but, I'm afraid if she says no, it will be awkward every time I see her or talk to her and I don't want to lose her as a friend because of this. What do I do?

Me and my boyfriend (we're 13) have been dating a little over a month now, and I think I'm falling in love with him. He usually acts like that shy type. He doesn't tell you a lot about how he feels or is that open. I was wondering if this has anything to do with me, or maybe his family? And also, if he is like this, how will I know when he starts to really love me? I hope you can help me.

I have our Homecoming dance coming up in two weeks and I don't have a date. My friends keep telling me that I can have fun without a date (they all have dates) but I feel like I need one because I don't like to be left out on the slow dances.

I've been going out with this guy for a while and I really like him but every time that he's around, I'm really quiet ( trust me, that's unusual) and I get wicked tongue tied... sometimes I can just relax but other times I can't and when I say stuff it comes out all messed up.What should I do?

I just started school a week ago, and during my lunch there is this girl who sits across from me and my friends. I don't even know her but she is very cute, she has the same clothing style as me and she seems very nice. I want to go up and talk to her but I'm kinda shy when talking to girls I don't know. I don't know how to approach her and I don't know what to say and how to introduce myself. What should I do? Can you help me out?

I am a 13 year old male. And I was wondering what pubic hair is. I am growing it and wanted to know what it is, what the purpose of it is. Is it all right to shave it? Thanks.

I really like this young man. There are only 3 problems. 1. I'm Caucasian, 2. He's African-American, and 3. My father's side of the family is racist. How can I get my dad and his side of the family to accept my choice without them disowning me? I'm 18 years old, and I feel like they're treating me like a 10-year- old. Society is really confusing me. In the 60's and 70's they were saying NO SEGREGATION and now that these two races are coming together by loving each other, society is saying SEGREGATION. Please - I need help, I need to make myself happy, but I also don't want to loose my family either in the process of making myself happy.

My brother is constantly getting in trouble and everybody is always screaming at one another and I can't stand it. My brother is always hitting me and telling me I'm fat and stupid. I don't know what to do. Please help.

I was and still am going through a hard time since my parents' divorce five years ago. I can only talk about it to my parents when the subject comes up since it's embarrassing for me to talk about. My friends don't have to go thru this and they don't understand. I told my dad I needed a counselor and he didn't get me one. I can't bring it up now or I'll cause a blow-up between all of us. What should I do?

I am 13 years old and I was wondering what I could do about having more freedom in my home. When I ask my mom about this, she says the parent is always suppose to win fights. So what do I do? I would like more freedoms and also to have a better relationship with my mom and step dad.

I am responsible and I think my parents know that already. I am 15 and I already do the dishes, laundry, I vacuum, dust, get excellent grades, I baby-sit my sister constantly, and I also do not do drugs or drink alcohol. I guess you could say I am "perfect," but aside from all of this, my parents will not let me go out on a date with a guy. They will not let me go out with my friends either! I just want to go out once or twice a week, but no! I have to baby-sit my sister all the time. She follows me and my parents don't do anything about it. She is also afraid to be home alone (supposedly.) And one more thing, my sister made a long distance call that cost about $35 and I had to pay for it! What is up with that? Why should I have to pay for it? PLEASE HELP!

How do you get your mother to listen to your side of the story? We often argue about issues that she thinks are not worth fighting about. I feel that I need to get my point across, but she won't listen if she does not feel that the matters are worthy of a discussion. Any ideas?

My parents treat me like I'm 5 years old and I'm 15. And my brother gets all the attention now and everybody thinks he's all mighty. They treat him like a saint and me like a germ or something. I just got yelled at because my brother and his best friend were yelling at me and calling me a brat and all. My mom came in and started yelling at me as if I started everything. And then my step-dad came in and yelled at me, too. My mom always does this to me and I hate it. It's as if everything that goes wrong in the house is my fault and then I get yelled at for it. And whenever my brother and or his friends do something to me and I tell my mom (I'm not a tattle-tale) she tells me to shut up or go away. It's like she doesn't care if they hurt me.

What can I do about my mother? She loves my little brother more than me. She buys him stuff and not me. What should I do?

I'm 14, and my parents won't let me date. I know that doesn't sound that unreasonable, but right now I have a boyfriend that is almost 16, and he can obviously date. I love him very much, and I trust him, its not like he's going to pressure me into anything I don't want to do. He's been my friend for a long time and now we're finally together, but my parents hate him. They've never even met him, and they won't make an effort to. They just don't like him because he's 15. I think that's unfair, and I can't see my boyfriend, even if there are 10 other people there. They won't let me and a bunch of friends go to one of his soccer games, and I can't go to his church, simply because he's there. PLEASE help!! My parents just don't understand!

Hello. I know my parents have only been divorced for 4 months, but I am still hurt over it. At first I was like "sure, this won't bother me, I won't let it", but lately, it has. And in fact, only about 5 to 6 of my friends know about it so far. And see, my mom's been dating this guy, and I dislike him an awful lot, because I guess I just don't like his lifestyle.

What are some ways to resolve conflicts without fighting?

Hey! I read what your site said about drugs. And I think that they are stupid. But that is not going to stop people from doing them. I have a group of friends that do them. And they seem fine. They want me to try them. Everyone does them. They can't be that bad. I mean if I try them only once it isn't gonna matter, right? Plus, how could I say no to my friends?

Hey Erin, I'm 13 and I've always been a little shy in approaching people. There is this guy who I really like a lot in the class next door to mine. We always make eye contact when the door is open. The problem is I'm sorta short for my age, like 4'11 probably 5'1'' with my shoes and he's like taller. I feel uncomfortable because he's much taller than me. Do you think he will realize it when I'm next to him and not like me anymore, or do you think he'll like me for my looks and my personality regardless of my height? Do guys judge by height and does it change their decision about a girl?

I'd like to know a guy's opinion and/or comments on a couple of things. When you're dating a girl, if she loses of gains weight, how much of a change would it take for you to notice and or comment on it? If you found out that your girlfriend was diagnosed with an eating disorder (like anorexia/bulimia), how would you feel about it? Would you keep your distance because you might think she has major problems, or would you stay close to her and try and help?

My problem is I just started a new private school in my area. No, it's not the friends I have problems with, it's the teachers and the amount of homework I am given. I am given at least an hour's worth of homework each day from each teacher. I already have commitments and plans! What do I do???

Lately, I have found myself spending more time with the guidance counselor at our school then with anyone else...not by choice. I have told her already that I don't like talking to counselors because I don't know them well enough and it's just hard for me. Still, she insists that she needs to talk with me because my friends/ faculty keep saying they're worried about me. If they are worried, then I wish they would talk to me about it and not continue to force me into the guidance department. I am sick of it.

I have a slightly big problem. I have no friends. I do have a group of people I hang around but they're not really my friends I only hang around them. I've been trying to make a real friend since kindergarten and now I'm in grade eight and I've had no success! It makes me depressed sometimes especially when I never go to the movies or shopping with anyone let alone parties. I'm really lonely and I don't know what to do. Do you have any idea of what I should do?

Hi, my problem may sound really superficial, but it is making me very unhappy. I go to a school where everyone is really snobby and rich. Nobody seems to care about anyone else, and they don't seem to know a thing about real friendship. I have known these girls who I thought were my friends, but when it came to dealing with other things besides gossip, they couldn't deal. One girl even said it was too much pressure to be friends with me, cause I actually tried to be true friends with her.

Can you help me? I have a friend, well actually she's not really my friend that much anymore (my parents told me to stay away from her.) Anyway, I've known her for 3 years - since 7th grade. (She was such a sweet person in 7th grade -we're in 10th now). In eighth grade, she seemed to be really depressed (I think it was depression or so she said ). She would cry for no reason, or if she got a bad grade on a test she'd cry and sob for along time right there in class. And she started eating less and wearing more black (nail polish) and occasionally dressed in all black. She bangs her head into her bedroom wall real hard several times when she gets mad at her step-dad or something.

Hey Erin. About two months ago my best friend Heather was raped. She didn't tell anyone, she just informed me. Now she just found out she was pregnant and she didn't tell her parents the truth because she is afraid. She told them that she just chose to have sex and her mom and dad keep calling her horrible things like a slut. I don't know what to do. Can you help me?

I have a problem. I eat too much and that's why I'm 20 lbs. overweight. I really want to be thin but I think it may be the family genes kicking in. I am V E R Y self-conscious, I guess. But I'm really tall too. Well anyway, the other day some guy friends of mine were talking in the bathroom while I waited for them outside. They were talking (kinda loudly) and they must not have noticed I could hear them, but they were saying stuff about my ex- boyfriend and how he only went out with me because he wanted to do something charitable for me because he thinks I'm fat.

I am a teenager and pregnant. What should I do?

Hi, I am 15. I have thought about killing myself though I don't think I would ever do it, however just thinking about it makes me kind of nervous and scared. Is it normal to think these thoughts? I know where its coming from and that is because I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. My parents are on the brink of divorce and other things. I don't feel comfortable talking to my parents and I hate talking to counselors. I do have a friend I could talk to but we are not on good terms right now plus she might tell someone out of concern. I am really confused because some advice pages say its normal and some do not. Please help me. I don't know what to do.