QMy boyfriend and I have been in a horrible position for a year. All of our friends have been talking about sex for the longest time. We were the only two who thought that we should wait, we thought we were doing the right thing. We tried to tell all of our friends to wait too but they didn't listen. We hang out with a bunch of football players cause my boyfriend plays for Varsity and I was a cheerleader, so we hear about it all the time. He and I have been together for like a year. My best friend just now started to talk about having sex with her boyfriend that I introduced her too. The weirdest thing is that all my friends who are girls were all virgins! Well, not anymore. In the past two months four of my good friends have lost their virginity. And they have been bugging me about doing it too. I don't know what to do! I'm afraid that I'm starting to think about it too, and so is my boyfriend. We are both so confused. We aren't one of those couples thought that just do this kinda of stuff.... so it's scaring us both. We really love each other and we have been talking about Marriage a lot lately. I love him and I know he loves me......But is it the right time? I mean we aren't even in college yet! I'm so Confused!!!!!!!
AFirst I have to say that I'm really impressed that you are able to hold on to your values in the face of pressure from your friends. That shows what strength you have. And although right now you think you are confused, your letter pointed one sure thing out to me, that you aren't ready because you aren't sure. You don't want to do something you aren't sure about, or have any doubts. Only you will know when you are ready, and you will know because you will be 100% sure about it. You were positive you wanted to wait before, don't let your values fall to pressure.
About the marriage thing; a marriage increases its chances of success by waiting until you are out of your teens. Teen marriages have a high divorce rate. If you wait until you are in your 20's your chances at a successful marriage are greatly increased. What's the rush? If you are going to promise to be forever together, there is no reason you can't wait a couple years to say "I do". If you are planning to go to college, go to college first. Get your career started. There's much more to a marriage than just love. Speak with a counselor or religious figure at your place of worship about the challenges of marriage. You have plenty of time for that. First, get through high school:)
-Erin-
