Friend or Relative Addictions

Q: A few days ago, I caught my dad doing drugs. He said that if I told my mother he would divorce her. I can't help but worry it will slip out... I cant sleep ever !! A: You are so brave to be asking about this, and I understand how this could make you really stressed out. This is a big burden to be carrying around! And you shouldn't have to. Your father's behavior is typical of drug users - - blaming, hiding and denying. It might be hard for you to start dealing with this because to do so you will have to be thinking of your dad in terms of being a user - both of substances and of people - and that is a painful and uncomfortable realization about your own dad.

During a commercial break, a public service announcement flashed across the TV screen: "Twenty questions to determine if you are an alcoholic." A minute later I rushed out to the porch where my dad was sitting with a can of beer. "Daddy! You're an alcoholic! You do seven out of the twenty things, and you only need three to pass!" I was twelve years old. My father looked at me and said, "Do we live in a nice house?" We did. "Do I go to work every day?" He did. "Am I a lawyer?" He was. That was that. Alcoholics live in cardboard boxes and beg for a living. The TV must be wrong. Every night at 5pm, Dad would come home, tense from his day at work.