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Monday, 30 May 2011

Dating Double Standard?

Written by  Erin Donovan

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QI am not to supposed be dating and I am head over heels for this one guy, that I was thinking about the summer (meaning going to try to date during summer.) Well, I tried to ask my mom when I could date and I was told 18. My older brother dated at 16. I am 15 now. How can I get my parents to lighten my dating sentence?

AIt seems that there are a lot of double standards when it comes to men vs. women. Parents seem to be much more concerned about their daughters dating than they are about their sons, and I'm not sure why this is. Maybe a fear that they're daughters can't protect themselves if something happens, that girls are more vulnerable, that they are more likely to get into trouble, or whatever the reason may be, it still seems unfair.

The best way that I can think of is to try to earn your mom's trust. Let her know that you are mature enough to deal with this. Start by explaining to her how important this is to you. Maybe this can best be done in a letter so that it doesn't set off an argument immediately. Ask her what her fears are about you dating and try to address them. It can take awhile to earn her trust, but persistence pays off (and this is very different from nagging.)

Explain to her that there's a boy you are interested in, and can he come over and watch a movie while your mom's there? Try to start small. Maybe by the time you are 16 she'll let you go on "group dates" where you are with a mixed group of friends and not just alone with a guy. Take whatever chance she gives you to prove your trust. Sneaking around behind her back or doing more than she limits is not a way to gain trust. If she catches you it will only increase her worries and fears.

See Relationships - Peers / Crushes and Dating


Last modified on Monday, 30 May 2011 13:24
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Erin Donovan

Erin Donovan

Erin Donovan's contributions were written in the year before she began college, at which time she was WholeFamily's Senior Teen Advisor.

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