QHi, my problem may sound really superficial, but it is making me very unhappy. I go to a school where everyone is really snobby and rich. Nobody seems to care about anyone else, and they don't seem to know a thing about real friendship. I have known these girls who I thought were my friends, but when it came to dealing with other things besides gossip, they couldn't deal. One girl even said it was too much pressure to be friends with me, cause I actually tried to be true friends with her. At first I thought it was me, but now I truly realize its not. I moved here a year ago, from a place where I have 3 of the best friends who I can count on anytime. It is real rough for me, cause I feel like I have no friends, unless it is on a completely superficial level, and I can't trust anybody. I just am real unhappy. So, I am trying to fit in, but I don't want to make myself less of a person trying to be like everyone else. I talk to my mom, but she just gets so defensive for me when people hurt my feelings, and I don't think she sees the whole picture.
AThanks for writing! This is not a superficial problem at all. In fact, a lot of kids are going through this. I'm so glad that you realize it's not you. Wherever you go in life some people will like you and some people will not, no matter how hard you try to please them. Don't waste your time.
I think it's so admirable that you want to stay true to yourself instead of selling out your values to be in the "in" crowd. You sound like a very cool girl. Actually, you know what's interesting? Check some Celebrity Bio's & find out how many had your same problem! People who are unusually creative or intelligent don't seem to fit in quite as easily with these type of kids (especially in high school).
Some examples that I know of: Alicia Silverstone was an outcast at her high school, as was Renee Russo, Will Smith was a "geek", and many more. Hey, you might even want to take it as a compliment that they don't like you!
High school is a pretty weird time for everyone, and good friends are very hard to come by. You are lucky that you have 3 great ones, even with the downside that they live far away. If you stay true to yourself and decide not to be friends with the snobs I bet that you will find a lot of other kids at your school that feel the same way.
And if you don't find friends right away, just give it time. Take some time to yourself, spend some time with your family, etc..
It sounds like you have an awesome mom who really cares what happens to you (even if she tends to be one sided at least it's your side she leans to.)
Things will get better, even if it seems to take awhile.
Good Luck.
-Erin-
