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Monday, 30 May 2011

Shy Boyfriend

Written by  Erin Donovan

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QMe and my boyfriend (we're 13) have been dating a little over a month now, and I think I'm falling in love with him. He usually acts like that shy type. He doesn't tell you a lot about how he feels or is that open. I was wondering if this has anything to do with me, or maybe his family? And also, if he is like this, how will I know when he starts to really love me? I hope you can help me.

A13 can be a very awkward time for both boys and girls (so can 14, 15, 16...), but at 13 a lot of changes are just beginning to take place, in emotions, thoughts, and body. Even if this boy was an outgoing person before he could suddenly become shy, and introspective. A month is not really that long to have been going out, and he may not feel too comfortable yet telling you how he is feeling, etc...

He may still be really worried what you think of him, or if you are going to break up with him suddenly. As you pointed out, there could just be other things going on, like maybe family problems, as an example. What I think would be most helpful in this situation is if you just ask him what's on his mind and reassure his fears. Don't try to push him to talk too much at first cause that may scare him away. But let him know that whatever is on his mind he can trust you, and that you care about whatever it is even if he thinks that it might sound silly, assure him that you won't think it is. Express your feelings to him and let him what he means to you. Then maybe he will feel more comfortable opening up to you.

Also, please realize that you should wait a little while before you decide that this is love. Love is a strong word at any age, and at 13 it's tough to know about. Keep in mind that emotions change quickly at your age, and they should be taken with a grain of salt. And not rushed...

I hope this helps you

See Relationships - Peers / Crushes and Dating


Last modified on Monday, 30 May 2011 12:38
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Erin Donovan

Erin Donovan

Erin Donovan's contributions were written in the year before she began college, at which time she was WholeFamily's Senior Teen Advisor.

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