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Monday, 30 May 2011

Breaking Up

Written by  Erin Donovan

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QAfter a two-year relationship, my boyfriend and I have broken up. He was my first true love. I am 18 years old and have been with him since I was 16. How do I cope with all this pain? Also, how do I act around other guys?

AIt's hard getting over a break up anytime, but 18 can be a time of many changes on top of that - (maybe it's your last year of high school, or you've just moved away from home, are trying to figure out what you want to do career or college-wise...etc...) This can feel just like another thing added to the list of changes, making it all the more confusing.

One really great way to help you deal with pain is to talk to someone about it. Writing in a journal about your feelings also can help you to sort them out; even if you don't know what to write, just sit down with a pen and paper and start writing whatever is going through your mind.

Try to keep yourself occupied so that you aren't feeling totally alone and broken down. Call up your girlfriends and hang out. Volunteer somewhere to fill in extra time; helping people can leave you with good feelings that may replace some of the hurt or emptiness. Take up an extra curricular activity that you've thought about doing before but didn't have enough time. Just don't sit around and wallow in the bad feelings. It can be hard to imagine now, but time will help heal wounds.

As to how you should act around other guys: Well, it's probably too soon to jump into anything serious right now. You should probably allow yourself time to get used to being broken up before you start another relationship.

Just be yourself around guys, though. Act how you feel is natural. If someone's around that catches your eye and you'd like to get to know him better, then let yourself get to know him better. The main thing is, don't try to replace this ended relationship with another one just to stop the hurt. It doesn't work. Allow yourself time to heal, and just go with the flow.

Things will work out.

See Relationships - Peers / Crushes and Dating


Last modified on Monday, 30 May 2011 13:12
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Erin Donovan

Erin Donovan

Erin Donovan's contributions were written in the year before she began college, at which time she was WholeFamily's Senior Teen Advisor.

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