What if the person you are interested in was your first love? My best friend is going through this, and she hasn't had the greatest marriage. Now that she is interested in her first love, hubby is all attentive and sweeping her off her feet!
I advised her to continue to talk and be honest with her husband: to talk it to death basically. She seems to be getting worse "in love" with her first love, as she puts it. She has two kids in their teens who drive her crazy to add. One of her worst fears is insecurity and expenses.
Let me know so I can help her better than I have been.
When a marriage has become routine and the teenagers are driving you crazy, it's very seductive when an old love reappears and gives you a taste of something fun and exciting. Your friend needs to weigh the reality of running off with her old love against the impact that it would have on her family.
It's a good sign that her husband has become attentive again. You could suggest to your friend that they enter marital counseling so as to sort through all the issues. It's always difficult to watch a friend going through an emotionally rocky time but you need to be careful. Refrain from saying,"If I were in your shoes I'd...". If you tell her what to do and it turns out to be a disaster then she'll blame you for giving her the wrong advice. She needs to make her own decision here. Continue to be kind and supportive without being judgemental. Let her know that you will be her friend no matter what she does. Your friendship is a valuable gift and I'm sure she appreciates that you're there for her.
Dr. Louise Klein PsyD
