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Wednesday, 23 February 2011

The Ten Terrifying Truths About Marriage

Written by  Michael Tobin

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Folks, some of this stuff is hard to take. Hang in there and write to us with your questions and reactions.

A Martin Holt Original

1. You can’t make anyone love you and nobody can make you happy.

A Martin Holt Original

2. Try all you want; you'll never change your partner. However, if you change yourself, your partner may change.

A Martin Holt Original

3. People don’t marry people; they marry illusions and fantasies. (What a surprise to discover that your partner is as human as you are.)

A Martin Holt Original

4. A real marriage begins just at the point where the illusion ends. The challenge of marriage is to discover who you married.

A Martin Holt Original

5. Love is only one of the reasons we choose a partner. (Sometimes, it’s not the most important.)

A Martin Holt Original

6. Most likely, the qualities that now drive you crazy are the same ones that first attracted you to your partner.

A Martin Holt Original

7. It is impossible to go through a relationship without experiencing periods of pain and loneliness.

A Martin Holt Original

8. The greatest gift you can give your children is a loving marriage.

A Martin Holt Original

9. A marriage succeeds when each of us realizes that our partner’s needs are at least as important as our own.

A Martin Holt Original

10. Marriage is the best opportunity to grow, overcome selfishness and learn how to love.

Now let your marriage soar!

Share your thoughts on this issue at yourvoice@wholefamily.com.

Last modified on Thursday, 09 June 2011 10:35
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  • Comment Link Wednesday, 16 October 2013 16:06 posted by Charlene Tayes

    I find that a lot of those statements are correct and true. You can live with someone for 10 years, get married, and find they are not the person you lived with all those years. Statements 7 to 10 are very true and realistic and if practiced will help your marriage to grow. Always remember that each of you are a person not a possession or a child, treat each other with respect and care. Always remember, "the way you want to be treated is the way you have to treat others".

  • Comment Link Thursday, 18 July 2013 18:35 posted by CECI

    It is so true, after falling in love with your dream man, reality sets in. After living with them and finding that your dream man is not what you expected him to be, exposing the real him to me was shocking. At first he smooth talked me, gave lots of compliments, bought me things, gave positive suggestions on issues, talked about how important it was to take care of our health, etc. While living with him after marriage he sure changed from giving positive compliments, taking care of health, family is a big problem and so on. Not what I expected after dating 6years, sure pulled the wool over my eyes

  • Comment Link Tuesday, 30 April 2013 17:53 posted by Agatha Hill

    Very interesting, some statements were very funny.

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Michael Tobin

Michael Tobin

Dr. Michael Tobin has been a psychologist since 1974, specializing in marital and family therapy. He is the author of numerous articles on marriage and family relationships and is the founder of WholeFamily.com. He's  been married to Deborah for 38 years and is the father of four children and grandfather to five.

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