Lia: You're not a happy person.
Robert (Popping the tab off a can of beer): I'd be happy if you'd leave me alone.
Lia: You're only happy if you've had a few beers. Every single time we go out you need to drink.
Robert: Can't a guy have a beer, for God's sake? It's not liquor.
Lia: You have a few beers and next thing you're drinking shots of Jack Daniels and you're drunk and obnoxious. Then I'm driving us home and you're passing out.
Robert: I'm tired from work. I need to relax. My job is tough. Very tough. And I don't need more stress when I get home. So lay off of me.
Lia: You promised me you wouldn't drink tonight.
Robert: I'm just having a beer for God's sake.
Lia: I don't want you to make a fool of yourself in front of Adrienne. She's a social worker, you know. She could diagnose you as an alcoholic.
Robert: What the hell are you talking about? I'm supposed to worry what one of our kid's friends' mothers is going to say about me?
Lia: I'm sick of this. You come home from work and drink. Then you fall asleep on the couch. It's like you're married to your six-pack. How about me?
Robert: I break my back for you and the kids. I'm out of the house at 5:00. Don't you dare bother me about relaxing in my own home.
Lia: You said you were going to stop drinking. When is that gonna be? When? I keep waiting and waiting. I keep waiting for you to stop. I'm sick of being married to a drunk.
Robert: And I'm sick of being married to a nag. Get off of my back. I'm warning you.
Lia: Don't you threaten me. I've had enough. I'm not going to go out with you if you're going to say stupid things. You get this drunk face on and then you insult people.
Robert: I know how to have a good time. But you, you want to ruin everything.
Lia: Robert, I want to make things better. But I can't stand this. I can't put up with this.
Robert: With what? A house on the water? Three boats? A new couch? Two beautiful children. And a life where you don't even have to work. All you have to do is take care of the kids. And you have the nerve to complain. I don't believe it. An ungrateful bitch -- that's what you are.
Lia: You're lucky I stay with you. It's all cause my father was a drunk. I don't know what it's like to be with a man who is sober -- and loving and caring. I pick a guy who's abusive, just like my dad. I'm an idiot.
Robert: Your father wasn't a drunk just because he liked to have a beer at night.
Lia: He was. And you are too. If you drink tonight, you're gonna ruin everything.
Robert: Go out with Miss Social Worker by yourself. I'll stay home.
Lia: Fine. At least that way you won't be throwing up in the men's room.
Robert: You love to make up stories, don't you? You're the one with the problem, not me.