Melanie, 13, is disturbed about her weight. Her mother thinks she looks fine, but she doesn't quite make it into her bikini. Summer is coming, and she's beginning to panic. Could this be the beginning of anorexia?
I can’t stand looking in the mirror. I'm so fat - all these bulges and rolls of lard on my legs and hips - at least 8-10 pounds worth!
I wish I could look like Amy. She looks great in those jeans she wore today, and I saw all the guys looking at her. I even saw Steve staring at her when she walked past us at lunch. I wish.... My Mom says I look just fine, but what does she know?
In a few weeks we’ll all start going to the beach again, and I'll just die when everyone sees me in my swimsuit with all this fat. I've gotta do something quick!
The other day I started skipping breakfast. Mom thinks I ate the eggs and toast, but I just wrapped it in my napkin and tossed it on my way to school.
By lunch I was kind of hungry, but I got by on two diet cokes and some carrot sticks from the cafeteria. Even though I felt a little dizzy afterwards, I kept telling myself it would pass, and finally by five o'clock, after I ate an orange, I felt much better.
Today I threw out most of my cereal. Lunch was easy too, I just ate the pineapple. And Mom wasn't home for supper so I didn't have to finish what she left for me.
If I can keep this up for just a few more weeks, I won't look so bad in my bikini. I don't want Steve to see me in it the way I look now. I even walked home from school the last two days, instead of taking the bus. I just got a little hungry toward the end.
Sometimes I worry if maybe this is anorexia, but I'm nothing like they described in Health Ed. This is just my summer diet, till I lose these few pounds. Then I'll go back to junk food and Mom's good meals. Just a few more weeks, and I'll really look pretty good - not as great as Amy, maybe. But passable.
Maybe I can try what those two girls did in the bathroom yesterday... They made it sound so easy, except it grossed me out a little. But I guess I could get used to throwing up.
If I can keep this up, I'm sure I can get rid of my fat by summer. And I can even save enough lunch and bus money to buy that outfit in the store window.
Melanie, age 13