OK, so some jerk was walking off with your fantasy girl. Now, you took a good look at yourself and a good look at him and you think, "What could she possibly see in him?" So you figure she fell off the deep end and who needs a babe with bad taste.

But then your friends start complaining about the same thing happening to them--I mean, these are cool dudes and the girls are dropping them left and right. So you figure that either the school has been invaded by aliens or some kind of toxic chemical has reached the water fountain supply. But then you listen to the ladies by the lockers and you start to hear things like, "...oh, he's so full of himself..."

That's the first clue, guys, that the girls have reached the dreaded age of MATURITY (AAAGGGGHHHHHH!!) Now I'm not talking about the physical changes stuff that we all sat through in the fourth grade Health Ed. class. No, this is about emotional maturity and just like the physical stuff, it happens to the girls sooner than it happens to us. But the worst part about it is this, the physical changes are gonna happen whether you like it or not, but this emotional maturity stuff is something that you actually have to work at and the girls are so much better at it then we are!

So, in order to help you get through this difficult phase in your life, I've come up with a few tips on "HOW TO BE MATURE, YET COOL". Now I can't guarantee that the girls will be falling all over you, but they will think that you're a really nice guy, and that's cool.

WYATT'S TIPS

1. TRY TO LISTEN - we all like to talk about ourselves, but the girls are getting a little sick of it, like they have some important stuff to say too.
2. LOOK INTO HER SOUL, NOT HER BODY - Nobody likes to be placed under a magnifying glass and let's face it, we're all really self conscious and a little insecure about our looks. Try looking into her eyes and not just her outstanding other features.
3. GET REAL ABOUT LOOKS - It's great to do your best to look good and feel good, but don't let it be your whole world. Life is full of surprises and some of them aren't so great (divorce, accidents, depressions, whatever...). Physical and emotional trauma in life can result in changes in physical appearance, behavior and personal hygiene. So, if that quiet girl in French class shows up with greasy hair and about 20 pounds extra, she's probably hurting about something. So you can either be an ass and laugh at her or give her a smile and say, "Hi".
4. YOUR LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING - The fact is that biceps and triceps may get you some badly needed attention, but sooner or later the girls will be looking for someone with more substance and someone who is tuned into them.

CONCLUSION: She's walking around with that nerd, because HE VALUES HER AS A PERSON. He listens to her, looks into her soul and isn't "so full of himself".

And to think that you just pierced your eyebrow 'cause you thought she'd like it and all you got was a pierced heart.