Captain Burton and Joe Jr. meet in Dr. Alberts' office. Joe Jr. is sitting in the waiting room, paging through a "People" magazine when Captain Burton strides in.
Captain Burton:
Just the man I'm looking for. Nice to see you. How's it going?
Joe:
What are you doing here?
Captain Burton:
I'm here to see you.
Joe:
What are you doing? Checking on me?
Captain Burton:
I'm here as a friend. I'm here to help you.
Joe:
You don't have to come all the way down here. I'm doing all these shrink rap sessions. I don't miss one. Why don't you just call Dr. Alberts? Don't you have more important things to do? Don't you have a station house to run or something? I'm here. I'm seeing Alberts. You don't have to check on me.
Captain Burton:
I came to tell you something. Something important.
Joe:
What?
Captain Burton:
About a special program we have - for people like you.
Joe:
What's "people like me?"
Captain Burton:
People who need something, something else, something besides school, beside regular life. It's a program that I run. It's not for everybody. I don't tell most guys about it, only the people who can handle it. It's for people ready for a tough challenge.
Joe:
I don't have time for challenges.
Captain Burton:
First listen. We take you out to the wilderness... we teach you how to survive. You get away from your family. We go fishing - we go hiking. You learn how to find your own food...we teach you to navigate....
Joe:
How about a penthouse in Manhattan instead?
Captain Burton:
Manhattan you can survive. Manhattan is about money. This isn't about money. This is about facing yourself. Have you ever even looked inside of yourself? Have you ever thought about who you are?
Joe:
Did my dad put you up to this? This is such BS. You come here to see me, you know I'm coming to these sessions. Why are you hassling me?
Captain Burton:
You like rock climbing? You learn to rappel. We'll take you to the Gunks and let you scale the rock face. You like karate? We teach you to fight.
Joe:
I don't know. Why can't you just leave me alone? Why are you bugging me?
Captain Burton:
I don't want to see you in jail - and if you don't straighten out, that's where you're heading.
Joe:
I'm not going to jail. I'm cool. I'm sure there are millions of guys out there who could better use your help. In fact, I can give you their names and address.
Captain Burton:
I've seen guys like you before on the street. I see them again five years later and they're in prison for 25 years for assault. I don't want that for you, Joe. I'm not gonna let it happen.
Joe:
So now it's a big charity case thing. Go scour the streets for some guys who need this, who are stealing or murdering.
Captain Burton:
I'm looking for guys of a certain caliber. Like you. Not bums on the street.
Joe:
Great, lucky me.
Captain Burton:
I'm gonna have a guy call you - one who's done the program. Angelo. Listen to him and then see what you have to say.
Previous Episode: Pam Chats With Chris
Back to Austen-Kutchinsky Home Page