Arlette Simon is a clinical social worker (MSW) and a licensed psychotherapist. She has more than 35 years experience in various fields of mental health, including work in welfare agencies, adoption services, general hospitals, and psychiatric hospitals. She has a private practice and is chief supervisor of a team of professionals in a rehabilitation community for the mentally ill. Her professional training also includes Jungian psychotherapy, transpersonal psychology, reincarnation therapy, guided imagery therapy, energy work as a Reiki practitioner and reflexology.
The idea of "time out" (as described in Time Out: What is it and how can you make it work for you?) goes against everything I believe in as a mother and as a therapist. In fact, the concept of "time out" exasperates me. It sounds more like a program designed for laboratory mice than one that is healthy for children and parents. Why am I so offended by Time Out? Because it denies context.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, My husband and I have been married for 17 years. I have a 20-year-old son from a previous marriage. He has attention deficit and oppositional disorder. He tried the Navy and was sent home. He got into drugs. My husband and I did not handle it very well. We fought and the child just got worse. My husband kicked him out of the house and bought a ticket for him to go live with my mother.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, Since I grew up in a dysfunctional family with an abusive, alcoholic father, I realize this is part of the reason I continue to make poor choices for myself when it comes to husbands. I have been married to my third husband for six years (first husband --10 years and second husband --10 years). This is his fourth marriage. I'm ready to call it quits. My husband is an absolutely wonderful, charming, generous, fun-loving, popular, well-respected, community-minded man to the outside world.
Dear WholeFamily, I need some help! Nothing seems to make me happy anymore - the more I surroud myself with happy things, nothing seems to work. My husband and I have been married for 18 years and we have an 8- year-old and a 5-ear-old. I feel content most of the time, but lately my husband "seems to bring me down." I come from parents who divorced after 27 years and I don't like what divorce does to children, so I want to make this work.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I have always thought that marrying your best friend is the most perfect situation. You can talk about anything and probably already have before the marriage. BUT, it ends up that my best friend, my husband of two years, just doesn't want to talk anymore. I have had some pretty serious issues I've wanted to talk about lately i.e.; not being particularly attracted physically or mentally to him lately, having a baby, big time things huh? He just starts fidgeting, cleaning, whatever he can do so he won't have to listen.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, Please help me in this matter. I am a divorced woman, and I have an eight years old son with me. This year he is not doing too well in school, The school already told us that if he is not doing well in the coming 6 weeks, he will probably remain in the third grade. My son who is a very bright individual, but a bit lazy at time. I feel that because I work a lot and I did not put enough time to teach him on his school work, and that is probably the main reason why he is not doing well in school. At this moment, I have a fiancé who lives with us. I think he is too hard on my son. Sometimes my fiancé would put my son down, and say thing like you are so dumb that you will probably stay in the third grade until you turn 21 years old, and at that time, you will probably be kick out from school.
Is there such a thing as keeping the magic in marriage? When you fall in love, the magic is there, inside you, around you, between you and your beloved, and it feels wonderful. You forget all your petty problems, you glow, you are transformed into a being of beauty, passion, desire, compassion, and happiness. You become interesting and interested, giving and receiving.
In this conflict, each person relates to money in a way that highlights their differing philosophies of life, and is symptomatic of the conflicts between them.
I am stuck between my college kids and my husband. My husband and I have been married for 22 years and we have always been very close to our kids. They are both away at college now, and I remain in close contact through e-mail etc., yet my husband has been pulling away.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I am a 50-year-old woman, been married for 13 years. There are so many problems in my marriage; I don't know where to start. My husband is very emotionally abusive. He says mean and cruel things like "You are so ugly, no wonder I can't stand you." He has belittled me so bad I have no self-esteem. We can't talk about much of anything especially my feelings. As long as I let him think he is always right, everything is fine.
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