Arlette Simon is a clinical social worker (MSW) and a licensed psychotherapist. She has more than 35 years experience in various fields of mental health, including work in welfare agencies, adoption services, general hospitals, and psychiatric hospitals. She has a private practice and is chief supervisor of a team of professionals in a rehabilitation community for the mentally ill. Her professional training also includes Jungian psychotherapy, transpersonal psychology, reincarnation therapy, guided imagery therapy, energy work as a Reiki practitioner and reflexology.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I am 42 yrs. old. I have been married for 11 years. My husband has 3 children from a previous marriage, and I have 1 son. Together we have a 10 year old. Our relationship was strained in the beginning over our children, but we seemed to be able to let go of a lot. Lately though my husband has become, for lack of a better word, paranoid. I can't even go see a concert with my nineteen yr. old son, who bought me the ticket, without my husband getting upset.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I am having difficulty in becoming a part of my husband's family life, after getting married. Two years ago, my husband and I decided to move to his hometown to make a living. We lived with his parents for about a year to get our feet on the ground and save some money. We now live in our own apartment but I have some very unresolved feelings and issues about his parents and siblings. I feel as if they have not made as much of an effort to integrate me into the family as they have their other daughter-in-law "Mary.
In-Law Conflicts Before and After the Wedding Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I am a 20 years old newlywed and mother. My marriage did not start on the best note. It started out with a pregnancy. His parents were understandably not very happy with the situation. They seemed to come around after our decision to marry, but soon things stared to go downhill.
Dear WholeFamily, Please give me some advice. I really need it. My girlfriend of two and a half years broke up with me three months ago. We got back together two weeks later. A month later she confessed that she had two one-night stands while we were broken up, that they were stupid, that she was scared and she is sorry. I was hurt but we worked through it and are now engaged. (Both of us really want this and want to be together forever.) Here is my question -- She has forgiven my mistakes. How do I forget what happened while we were broken up? At times it feels like I am obsessing about it. I do not want it to keep bothering me and to ruin the relationship.
Where Do We Go From Here? Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I've been married for almost six years and I found out a couple of days ago that my husband has been seeing his ex-girlfriend all these years. When confronted he says they're just friends and they've never had sex. Knowing that he's been going behind my back to spend time with her makes me believe that he's in love with her. Now that all trust is gone, where do we go from here? Dear "Where Do We Go From Here," I understand that you are very shocked and upset to find out that your husband has been seeing his ex-girlfriend.
Owing Husband and Children a Stable Life Dear WholeFamily Counselor, My husband and I have been married for 17 years. He is 56 and I am 39. We have two sons ages 13 and 16. I had a traumatic childhood filled with parental fighting and alcohol abuse by my father. I vowed that the man I married would not drink or smoke and would be a good father. Well, he doesn't drink, or smoke, has never laid a hand on me and is a great dad. The problem is I don't love him and I never have.
Looking for Signs of an Affair Dear WholeFamily Counselor, My husband has had an affair and has left me three times. This last time he came home he said he would do anything. Even counseling. We have made an appointment to go. But what can I do in the meantime? I find myself looking for any signs to see if the affair is still going on. I want our marriage to work. I was in a bad car accident and have not been able to work for the past six months. I feel that his cheating is my fault.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I will be celebrating my 23rd anniversary next month. For the first 10 years we had an exquisite sexual relationship. We connected and it was always great. Then my husband injured his foot and developed severe complications, which lead to many operations and continued problems. He eventually went to a rehab center and they did wonders for him. He came home and sex was again great for a year or so. Then nothing. Three years ago he fell on the ice and broke his hip. So because of all this, he takes medication for the pain and we have not had sexual relations for about ten years. We occasionally kiss each other and always say we love each other but that's it.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I want to save my marriage! But I feel lost. My husband and I have been married for 11 years and we hardly say anything other than: "What's for supper?" "Where is my underwear?" and basic everyday life stuff. We NEVER sit down and just talk, laugh, or joke together anymore. I feel as if I am losing my marriage (that I have worked very hard to keep together). If I leave, my children will be hurt and if I stay I'm the laughing stock of town because I think he's having an affair.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, Well, my story, like most others, is about choices. In my situation, I am looking for truth and all I get from my wife is smoke and mirrors. I have found my inner truth and realize that my heart is not in the marriage. I am currently sticking around due to the substantial financial downfall of divorce as well as my own guilt about putting our son through a divorce.
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