Q: Tell us about the worst fight you had and how you worked it out.

Your Voice

• He had an affair and even though I forgave he still could not get over the guilt.
  
  
• I wanted to go away on a vacation for Christmas and he wanted to go to his parents for five days, They have never really accepted me, and I gave in to him but was very unhappy there and on the third night we had a major blow-out. I stormed out of the house and when I came back, late, he was sorry but the only thing we’ve solved is that he’s agreed never to go back there for so long. We still haven’t solved the problem that he’s a momma’s boy and I’ll never be good enough for her and he doesn’t know how to tell her to lay off of me.
  
  
• I can’t stand the way he goes out with the guys one night a week and they’re not as moral as he is and I don’t know what they’re doing. I got real mad once and he stayed home for a few weeks and we’d go somewhere instead, but he still goes out with them sometimes.
  
  
• Our worst fight was over him coming home at 5:00 a.m. with what looked like a hickey on his neck. He called me some foul names, punched me, so I called the cops. I don't think we have resolved it because it still comes up in arguments all these years later. I still don't trust him, and he claims that I am the one who broke his trust by calling for help.
  
  
• I thought I was starting a new job and even though we were low on funds I spent a lot of money on new clothes and then the job didn’t come through and now my wife, who is supporting us for now, is upset because we have lots of bills that she is paying. She doesn’t understand that it’s hard for me to take just any job that I feel does not fulfill what I really want to do. We didn’t work it out yet but I promised her that once I do find a job I want I’ll make it up to her. I don’t know if she believes me.
  
  
• I wanted to go back to school to get my degree, like I had helped support him while he was getting his M.A., and he said he’d rather I be home with the kids. I started going back part time in the evenings but it’s not really "worked out" because I’d like to be studying more full time.
  
  
• I hate the way he gets violent with the kids sometimes, thinking that disciplining by slapping or spanking them is the way to go. He grew up in a home like that and he’s come a long way but he still does it sometimes and I hate it. It’s ruining our relationship.
  
  
• Once she spent too much money on stuff for herself and I was working really hard and I felt she was taking advantage of me. She tried to be nice afterwards and make special meals, etc., so it’s getting a little better, but she still doesn’t understand that we have to save and put something away for unexpected circumstances.
  
  
• Once she got drunk at a party and started to come on to one of the men there, a neighbor of ours, and we had a terrible fight after I took her home. She was very ashamed but I think that one does things when he’s drunk that show what’s really going on inside of him, that he just doesn’t know about. Anyway, now, whenever I see that neighbor, he smirks at me and makes snide remarks. We haven’t worked it out yet.
  
  
• Once we had a terrible fight about the way he doesn’t open up and show me his emotions. We are slowly working it out by him talking a little more every night before we go to sleep.