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Sunday, 29 May 2011

Going Through My Parents' Divorce

Written by  Erin Donovan

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QI was and still am going through a hard time since my parents' divorce five years ago. I can only talk about it to my parents when the subject comes up since it's embarrassing for me to talk about. My friends don't have to go thru this and they don't understand. I told my dad I needed a counselor and he didn't get me one. I can't bring it up now or I'll cause a blow-up between all of us. What should I do?

AI'm sorry that things are tough for you right now. This is a painful thing to go through. It's nothing to be embarrassed about though. It is in no way your fault. You don't have to talk about it to your friends if you don't want to, but they may be more of a help than you think. Have any of your friends had to go through a divorce? Try and open up to them when you feel ready.

I think that you should bring up going to the counselor again. It seems like your dad did not take you seriously when you asked, but you should get it across that you would like to speak to a counselor. Would you feel better about asking your mom to help you find a counselor, then asking your dad again? If you are afraid they will get angry, try writing one or both of them a letter, explaining that this is really hard on you, and you need to speak with a counselor.

I don't see why they would get angry because you ask to see a counselor. Sometimes people seem to get angry over things that aren't really bothering them when they are stressed out. For instance, maybe your dad was having a really bad day, and when you asked him for something he blew up at you, not really intending too. It's not your fault. You have the right to speak with a counselor and to get some help dealing with what is going on.

Could you talk to someone else in your family? Maybe a grandparent, Aunt, or Uncle? I hope that they listen, and find you the help that you need. If not, I would suggest calling a hotline for more advice. Maybe they can help you to find some help in your area, if your parent's don't.

(See Crisis Center - Divorce.)

It's sometimes hard for parents to realize that divorce is hard on the kids as well. Divorce is hard on the whole family, and it's helpful to get an outside perspective from a professional. I hope things settle down for you soon.

-Erin-

Last modified on Sunday, 29 May 2011 15:20
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Erin Donovan

Erin Donovan

Erin Donovan's contributions were written in the year before she began college, at which time she was WholeFamily's Senior Teen Advisor.

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