Sharona, 17, is standing in front of the fridge at midnight, looking for something....
Refrigerator, you understand I need something to fill me up, something to make me feel like I’m not going to fly off of the earth alone, meaning nothing.
Hello refrigerator, you good friend. You are there for me, all right. Yeah, who else can I turn to at 11:45 PM on a school night, when I'm bored and I'm all alone? Who else has something to make me feel good? Okay, some turkey, some nice white meat turkey, that's not too fattening, but hey let's whip up a little Russian dressing and how about some chips on the sandwich and on the side? Hey, that's good. That's really good. I like that crunch. How about another half?
Refrigerator, you understand I need something to fill me up, something to make me feel like I'm not going to fly off of the earth alone, meaning nothing.
Now I need soothing. My skin is all broken out and I look disgusting, really disgusting. How could anybody stand to be with me if they had to look at my face? I am so ugly. Hot chocolate, you're making me feel better. You're warming me up, all over, inside of me. I don't care if you make me break out. You're making me feel warm inside, warm all over.
Hey, why not a cake? Betty Crocker you are a sister. Let's see what we have here, the magic of the microwave, chocolate cake in 10 minutes! All right we should be feeling pretty good --- Oh no, footsteps! Stop the microwave dial.
Oh no, Mom, just a little snack. Yeah, I'm on my way to bed.
Yeah, I know I have to get up early. Sure. See you.
Yeah, I know I have to get up and flunk some more tests and hear Mr. Hedgecock say, uh, yes, Ms. Moore, do you think you could honor us with your attention?
All I want to do is eat, eat, eat, fill up this huge gaping hole inside of me.
Hello Betty, hello. The cake isn't ready but it's almost cooked, not 100 percent, so it's not really solid, but what's the matter with some hot cake batter? Wow, I could start a new trend, cake batter, just drink it raw, yummy going down soothing and sweet.
Now I'm getting hungry, I need some cereal. Ahh frosted flakes, and I don't even need to add sugar, and what' s to go with it? Some Diet Coke, emergency Diet Coke right here and...
STOP ENOUGH STOP STOP
God, why did I eat so much? What's the matter with me? I'm sick. I'm so full. I'm full....
Oh, hi, Dad. Yeah, I'm just doing these few dishes, oh yeah, Dad, cleaning up the kitchen, and yeah, I'm going right to bed....
And, oh God, I'm in bed and I am so full so disgustingly full...
Add up the calories.
I am probably 5 pounds fatter.
And my jeans won't close tomorrow.
I'll have to wear those overalls, those ugly overalls. Why can't I be like Jenna with her little hips? I'm sure she never pigs out like this.
Oh God! I can't even look at myself.
I can't get undressed.
I don't want to see this body--
This gross, gross body.
Please let me go to sleep and wake up
Skinny skinny skinny-