Senior Questions and Answers

Dear WholeFamily Expert, I've raised my granddaughter from birth. Her mother was always too busy with her own life. When Savannah was 8 months old her mother moved out. She said she had no way of taking care of her. Right now the baby is almost three years old. Her mother came to take her to the park on Mother's Day and then called to say that she wasn't bringing her back. I know that I have no choice in this as she didn't legally abandon her and, legally, she isn't an unfit mother. I can see the baby any time I want and let her stay the night or weekend.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I am happy to say that I have three grandchildren; a granddaughter who is twelve, a grandson who is ten and one who is three. But I feel the wonderful things people always told me about being a grandparent might be a little exaggerated. I do enjoy watching them grow up. I'm curious about who they will become as human beings. But I can't claim that I have created a special relationship with them. They don't seem to feel particularly connected to my husband and myself, even though my children push them to be nice to us. The oldest ones are into their own friends, and the baby clings to his parents. I am disappointed, and even a little hurt.

Dear WholeFamily, My husband and I are having a problem. We have two small children, ages 18-months and six-months. His parents want to come over on Christmas Eve and spend the night. They live about 45 minutes away and travel often so that is not the problem. They say they want to be here to see the kids wake up on Christmas morning. I would like it to be just the four of us on Christmas morning. I want it to be a special family time for just us; a tradition that we share and that is private for us. I also feel like they had their own children and had that time to do the same.

Q Dear WholeFamily Counsellor, My son married a girl who is not his type. She has a very crude side, swears sometimes, and does not have his level of education. I have gotten used to the idea that they are married and there is nothing I can do other than to be nice to her when she is inside my home. The problem is that she is pregnant now and I am afraid of how she will bring up my grandchildren. She is not basically a bad person, but is very sensitive whenever I offer suggestions.