I came home from work one afternoon to find my 12-year-old son chipping away at our full-frost freezer which was so overloaded with ice that we couldn't fit another package of anything in it. My son was going at the ice with gusto, banging with an assortment of implements -- a screwdriver, a can opener and a corkscrew. He was happy. The floor was a mess, there was ice and water everywhere, but for the first time in weeks, there was room in the freezer.
Another day I found my eight-year-old washing windows with the window cleaner. Every window and mirror in the house.
My four-year-old loves to do dishes.
What is the secret of my kids' industry and initiative?
We don't have one.
We don't have a video either.
TV-less Kids = Creative Kids
My kids are forced to create their own entertainment. Now you may not think that cleaning windows and mirrors or defrosting a refrigerator are entertaining, but my kids do.
My kids also make bracelets from glue they've dried and rolled on their hands. They make necklaces from cereal. They bake brownies, put on plays, play darts, punch a punching bag, ride their bikes, fight and argue like other kids, peel carrots, scramble eggs, and write on themselves.
I don't have to try to inspire their creativity anymore. They come up with these activities by themselves.
What my kids don't do: recount the plot of TV shows, put posters of their favorite TV stars on the walls of their bedrooms, idolize move stars.
It's not that we're Puritans. We're not trying to isolate them from the world. We read newspapers and have magazines in the house; we even have a computer. But we have found that the best way to allow them to be kids is to get the box out of the house.
Now, many of you are saying to yourselves: But I monitor their TV.
Good for you. I couldn't. I found the TV too alluring, too irresistible. And not being good at setting limits in the first place, I don't want something else I have to monitor.
The box made them want to shop, grow up, be a smart ass, be a wise guy, make fun of things. Dress in cool clothes, be violent, have sex.
The kids still manage to see their share of TV at other people's houses.
Now when I walk into a house and see the kids in front of the TV, it looks to me like the kids are on heroin. They are transfixed, quiet, drugged, lolled out on the couch.
My household, on the other hand, is usually noisy, wild and chaotic.
I must admit. TV is a temptation.
But I don't want to fill my kids with the garbage in it.
And if I don't have anything to say to the guys at work when they discuss last night's TV show, well...I can just wink and say I was doing something more exciting...