Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I've been married for two years with a five-month-old-baby. When my husband and I got married, we seemed to be very in love. When I got pregnant our marriage began to fail because he said that he doesn't love me anymore as he used to in the beginning (he said that he loved me with all his heart because he was always thinking about me and always wanted to be with me; now he only wants to work). I told him to go away, but he's still living at home and he does not want to sleep in the other room. I really don't know how long I can stand this. Am I right letting him live in our house even if he says he does not love me anymore? He treats me very well but it's not as it used to be. I miss my obsessively in love husband. I want someone who cares for me.

In Drinking Drama: The Codependent Wife, there has probably been a gradual slide into concern with drinking problems in Lia and Robert's marriage. What started out as a few too many drinks in a social situation has become an addiction. Robert now drinks every day, he drinks when alone instead of only with company and his drinking is affecting his behavior. He and his family are in trouble.

Dear WholeFamily, I am about to file for divorce. Searching for help I came across your address. I have to say that the advice that you gave the lady with the problem about x-mas was good but in the same breath and in the next thousand I have to let you know that people with far deeper problems (not to minimize the others) can't find the help we need. I need. I have been married for ten years, together for fourteen, the last nine years have been awful, and the last seven even worse. I have tried everything from counseling together, just me, me and the kids (we have 2, 7, and 5-years-old) reading countless books, videos, talking to friends, talking to clergy, crying, pleading, yelling, writing letters, nothing has worked with my husband, and finally I found a little peace, I read that it's not my fault, it's not my job to make him love and respect me and the children, it's HIS!!!!!!!!!!! He has to want to make this marriage work too.

How do I get my husband to understand that I don't have any free time to myself? I have a three-year-old daughter who demands all my time. I work full-time and my daughter goes to preschool.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, We are in our early 30s and will have been married ten years this coming June. In July '97 we had our first child. My wife took off two years (leave of absence) from work and subsequently resigned to raise our child. She was earning good wages, over $40K annually, but we were both happy with the decision. My job is somewhat stressful and makes demands on my time (whose doesn't?). I travel, on average, two to three days a week and initially that was not a problem or it wasn't apparent to me that it was.

Dear Wholefamily Counselor, I am originally from Michigan but moved out to California four years ago to attend graduate school. I never planned to make California my permanent home, but have tried since I met a wonderful man whom I married seven months ago. Before we even got engaged, we talked about the possibility of me not being able to stand it in California anymore.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, My wife and I have been married three years. I work full time for another company, but one-and-a-half years ago we decided to start a home business. It is Internet based and its growth is slow, yet I see the potential for it to be our sole source of income someday with some to spare. I limit my work on our home business to two evenings per week so I can keep a healthy home life. We have no children.

Dear Wholefamily Counselor, My husband and I have been married for only 6 months but we have been together for 7 years. My problem is that my husband is a workaholic. We own a business and have several employees. My husband makes me feel as if I am second to his job. He worries more about other people their needs before my needs and me. He is more willing to work on our business than on our marriage. I would like to know how I can confront him about it without offending him and getting into an argument. Can you please help? Dear Second Place, Have you two always worked together? Some couples are able to make the distinction between work and home but other people are not so good at drawing boundaries.

Dear WholeFamily, I am 26 years old and have been married for about 10 months now. My husband and I lived together for 6 months before we were married, but before we moved in together we were about 1500 miles apart for the first year of our relationship. At that time, we saw each other once every 2 months or so. We were very much in love and had really great sex during that time. Once he moved in, we continued to have great sex fairly often for awhile.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I am a 32-year female. I have been married to my husband now for five years. But I have lived with him over 10 years. And he knows all my problems and fears. See, when I was about five or six, one of my uncles and one of my mom's cousins did some ugly sexual things to me. And it caused a lot of problems for me. And the cousin did the things to me while I was sleeping. And this went on for a long time. So my husband knows this.